First: welcome to my new blog domain! This is essentially the blog “Mados” in a new neighbourhood.
I’m have moved from WordPress.com to this my own domain because:
- I wanted freer hands to play with the layout and features
- and get rid of the annoying ads
- be allowed to use cool plug-ins that are disallowed on WordPress.com
- be more in control of traffic from search engines, selectively blocking search engines from some posts but not others
It also runs much smoother and faster now, at least for me, but I didn’t know it would…
Those were the rational reasons. The heavier weighing reasons are emotional and harder to explain, but they work. I wanted to feel that my blog is my place, my own estate on the Internet.
Most importantly, I wanted a name that means something: which conveys the essence of what my blog is about.
What’s in a name: History of bad Parties
I have renamed my blog after the post History of Bad Parties, because I feel that post is a bit like an intersection that touches some of the core aspects of my life and the blog, such as:
- My history of social alienation and a failure to fit in, trying to “pass”: do what everyone else seem to do, the way they seem to do it
- Hypersensitivity to background noise and how sensory issues have affected my ability to function in social settings such as parties
- History of social learning, building sustainable relationships, and finding peace of mind with giving up on challenges that are impossible to overcome, or just not worth the stress, discomfort and drain they cause
There is more to this blog of course, but if there is a core essence inside it, then that is it.
I also like the name because I find it slightly comical (it is almost taboo for a human to have a history of failing at parties, so it sounds like a joke).
I like the word “History”: it sounds stable, relatable and familiar. It reminds of “story”, which is one of my favourite words – the way it sounds, its meaning (related to both history and imagination), and my personal memories with it.
I also like the name’s negative tone: it sounds honest and unpretentious.
During the process of going through the old posts to update the internal links to the new domain, I was struck by the relentless positivity – the constantly wanting to fix the present by trying to control the future with plans – the planning of plans, the compulsive fix it-mode that characterises much of my blog writing. I’m like a personal strategies Energizer Bunny: always coming up with new systems, new justifications, new ways to try to systematise my life into a better future.